Are you addicted to struggle? Do you find it easier or more comfortable to stay in the place of “it can’t work for me, or happen to me?” than it is to figure out how to move forward or have things be easier?
Dr. Sue Morter says, “Life is hard right up until it isn’t.” Ok, great, what the heck does that mean? Let’s see if I can sort it out for you.
Each of us has goals, desires, dreams. Depending on the goal, how out of the box it is for us, there is a relative amount of fear. We fear failing, that’s universal. Some fear success, and others wonder why in the world anyone would.
Here’s why. Life will never be the same once we are out of our comfort zone. We have to become more of who we are, shed some of what’s no longer a fit. In the process our relationships might have to change, we might have to ask the people in our lives to love the new version of us even as we try to figure out what that looks like. It might look ugly at first, clumsy, crazy.
Scary isn’t it?
Most people want us to stay the same so they can. Some people take it as a personal affront when we decide to change our eating habits, investigate a more spiritual path, or leave a long time marriage.
“What are you doing?” our well meaning friends or relations ask incredulous about a (not-so) sudden decision to leave our long time corporate job and set sail on the uncertain seas of entrepreneurship.
To hell with those.
What we are doing is following a dream, an urge, an itch to break out of an old mold and see what this other thing feels like. The old version of us feels like a too-tight suit. It constricts and limits our movement. In certain positions we feel we can’t breathe. One day, as if out of nowhere, we have had enough and we must break free of this suffocating version of us. Our dreams will have their way.
Why make it hard?
Easy; fear and resistance to taking the inspired actions we get everyday.
Did you ever consider procrastination as resistance to taking inspired action?
You know the ones. “I really want to go to the gym today” or “I think I’ll start reading that book my friend gave me to help me figure out how to reverse diabetes.”
The day comes and goes with no follow through and you’ve resisted your inner wisdom as just another “should.” Maybe they aren’t just shoulds but are part of the process of taking off the struggle suit, of learning how to breathe deeply because we can, with no restriction.
But our people might not like us, might not support us, might not believe we can do it.
Or they might.
We want to be liked and loved and supported.
But Greg, we are too busy, too old, too lumpy, no money, and on and on.
Really?
The dreams we have came with all the tools we need to make them happen and enough courage to get it done. The negative limiting stories we tell—see above—are self-imposed. In truth we are nothing short of amazing, brilliant, fully equipped, and 100% strong enough.
Believe it.
Whether you dream of a new body, a new way of making a difference in the world, your dreams are there to grow you and give you the experiences of a life time. It recently dawned on me that:
there isn’t time to be anyone else
or anything less than what we dream of.
The time we have to make these dreams and desires real in our lives has always been short. At the midpoint it feels shorter than ever.
You’ve heard it said, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”
I’d like to add do what it takes to break the addiction to limitations, to struggle.
Start by feeling what it will feel like when you reach that goal or are living that dream. Don’t imagine your people in a non-supportive way. Give them a chance to be there cheering you on.
Or don’t tell them — some of them can’t be trusted. You know the ones.
Surround yourself with inspirational types, loving and supporting types.
Even if they are only to be found on CDs, in books, on YouTube for now.
As you step into your greatness you’ll be surprised who shows up with support and encouragement.
Greatness it is too.
Let’s have a burning of all those too tight suits. Let’s raise a glass to the dreams that will have their way with us. And to us for saying “Yes, me too. I get to be who I most want to be, the best version of me, the one that is free and full of life on my terms.”
Amen to that.
© Copyright 2011 – Gregory Anne Cox The Feelbetter Cos. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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About the Author: Gregory Anne Cox is a certified life coach who has been dishing up all-you-can-eat servings of women’s health and nutrition information for years. Her Mind and Body Tune Up Tips weekly audio postcards give short bites of information that will help transform your daily choices so you live your best midlife. Sign up for free. You can find out more at MidlifeWithAVengeance, send her an email, or call her at (631) 728-2456. This article is copyrighted and you may feel free to use it as long as you include this paragraph when publishing it.
